My apologies. All I can say is Thank Goodness that the shows are online. I have to rant a minute. I have this unbelievably expensive HD-DVR so I can capture my favorite shows ("Grey's Anatomy") in HD and watch it whenever I want to, right? Watch as many times as I want to, right?. But network shows started doing these (stupid) Super-Sized episodes and the blasted DVRs aren't smart enough to figure out what's going on. So - my show got nuked. See me shaking my fist at the DVR? See me?
Okay. Sorry. I feel better now. Sort of.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming...
THAT'S SO HIGH SCHOOL
There's a little High School left in all of us. No matter how grown up or how successful and happily-ever-after we become, there's always that little twinge of who we were. If you think about it, it makes sense. High school is such a rite of passage. Forget the three-R's, the ACT, the SAT and AEIOU. It was about expressing ourselves. Chasing dreams. Wishing and hoping for the fairy tale to come true. Our emotions weren't tempered. Not one bit. We felt everything at full tilt. Love. Lust. Hope. Disappointment. Elation. Competitiveness.
We wanted desperately to be part of the pack. Usually the popular pack. Most of us weren't. But that didn't stop us from standing on the outside looking in. And sometimes, just sometimes, we would get included for a second. And it was glorious. But not really. It was all an unreal world. Except it wasn't, at least for the Chosen Few. And it's all part of our modern-day fabric no matter how hard we deny it. Maybe it's just a thread by now, but it's an important part of the pattern.
It's just not fair, really.
There are people in this world that we still allow to make us feel worthless... no matter how successful we are.
Bad hair-dos, braces, band uniforms... in my case, French Club (Yes. Seriously.)... those definitions follow us. But what's wrong with that? We found a place to belong somewhere, right?
It still never helps when the Object of Our Desire happens to be one of the Cool Kids. In high school, most of us were willing to do anything to feel that ray of sunshine upon our faces. And it doesn't really go away once we grow up, does it? There are still the cliques and the Cool Kids.
But what's so true in "Forever Young" is that you can't judge a book by its cover. Derek was a saxophone-playing band geek with acne and frizzy hair. Bailey (aka Mandy) was an oboe-playing band geek with coke bottle glasses and and no self-esteem. Stunningly beautiful Izzie was the pregnant girl from the trailer park who was shunned. That's a long way from Homecoming Queen.
High school never leaves us. We may overcome it. We may put it away, but it's always there. Isn't it? What would you do if the one person you wanted to impress, love or be-loved-by from high school walked back into your life? How would you behave?
Yes. So much of that time was not real life. People were superficial. Still are. But eventually we find our way. Even if we have to pretend, sometimes, that we're not affected by the Popular Ones.
The thing is, though, sometimes pretending is the best medicine.
Someone told me not to worry about what other people think of me because they're probably more worried about what I think of them. I think all of us - no matter how far up the ladder we go in our respective lives, jobs, careers - worry that someone will see through our facade and catch a glimpse of that bad hair-do and braces.
But even if people do see that... who cares? There's an awkward teen inside them, too.
MEREDITH & LEXIE
We all have expectations and assumptions. And yet, there are still people in this world we can't face truthfully.
Thatcher Grey couldn't face Meredith truthfully. He couldn't let her know he is really a drunk with no control over himself or his life. He had to concoct a story about it being Susan's birthday.
Didn't Meredith assume Lexie's life was perfect with their dad? That he was the loving, wonderful father that (damn it!) she didn't get to know. Reality check. I so love, though, how Richard really steps in as a father figure for Meredith. She needs him. I think he needs her, too. I was glad she let him in.
By now we know that Lexie is broken, too. The Grey girls really have more in common than they'd like to believe. I wonder what they'll do with that knowledge. I hope they find a way to get closer.
I see something percolating between Lexie and Alex. He really understands her. He's walked a mile in her shoes. He knows her pain, and while he's able to be a shoulder to lean on ... he's also stripping away some of his hardened layers. He almost seemed wounded when he told Lexie about having to start cleaning up after his dad when he was only seven years old.